The Things We Want
by ShoeQueen
Summary: Sam gets a surprise visitor, but will it change anything? It's a bit of a departure from my other stories, but it's still J/S shippy. ****Nominated for 2014 Sam and Jack Multimedia Awards-Characterization of Jack****
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: These characters are not mine.**

**This story started off as a strange little one shot that grew into something more. It's not action-y, adventure-y, but it's definitely ****shippy. Of course! To make the story work, I had put Fragile Balance at the very beginning of S7 and leave Threads at the end of S8, putting almost 2 years between them.**

**This story has not been beta'd, so all mistakes are mine and mine alone.**

Season 8-pre Threads

Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter stood on her front porch and watched her fiancé's car pull away. She blew out a heavy breath, relieved when his taillights were no longer visible. They'd gone to dinner and he'd spent the entire meal discussing wedding plans, not noticing that she was contributing very little to the conversation. While most brides-to-be were excited about planning their upcoming wedding, she was decidedly not. Place settings, flowers, and bands held very little interest for her, when the fate of the world always seemed to be hanging in balance, and she was right on the front line. So, as he chattered on, about colors and chair covers, she nodded at what seemed like appropriate times, gave vague answers and kept checking her watch and wondering how long it would be before she could go home. Pete had wanted to stay the night, of course, but she fending off by telling him she had paperwork to finish and then an early morning meeting, so there was really no point in his staying, as he wouldn't see her anyway. It wasn't true, but he didn't know that. She knew she shouldn't be trying to fend her fiancé of, but couldn't bring herself to wonder what it meant that she was.

Unlocking the door to her small Colorado Springs home she immediately knew something was wrong. She couldn't pinpoint exactly what, but deep down, she knew it was. Pausing for a moment, she sensed there was someone else in the house. She was relatively calm, because after all these years, it wasn't that uncommon for her to come home and find a strange person waiting for her. That didn't mean she wasn't going to take precautions though. After carefully placing her keys on the table by the door, she reached for the gun she kept tucked in the waistband of her jeans, held it up, and inched closer to the living room and kitchen. Was her refrigerator door open? A noise made her halt for a moment. Was that a bottle top hitting the counter? Moving quicker, Sam slid to the edge of the wall, turned her body, gun in front and said, "Stop right there."

The kitchen light flicked on. "Jesus, Carter, put that thing away. I know there are two of me now, but I'd rather not have you take it back down to one." Sam lowered her weapon and looked at the man…boy…clone standing in her kitchen holding a beer bottle to his lips. It was none other than Jack O'Neill. Sort of.

"How did you get in here?" She asked, placing the gun back in her waistband. He tilted his head and gave her a dry look that clearly told her she'd asked a very stupid question. He might be years younger, but he still had all of General O'Neill's memories and training.

He could probably break into the SGC itself and no one would know. "Oh, right. I should have known. Si-Ja-um, what should call you?"

The younger man heaved a sigh and grimaced. "John. Apparently, I'm now John. Exciting, isn't it?" He'd always hated being called Jonathan, back when he was the 'real' O'Neill, but having two men named Jack O'Neill running around seemed a little too odd, so he'd gone with the shortened John. He still wasn't fond of it, but sometimes he decided you had to just go with it.

Sam watched the younger version of her commanding officer carefully. He was roughly 30 years younger than the real O'Neill, but she could clearly see the man she knew so well in the boy who stood before her. Actually, she realized, he didn't look like a boy anymore. He'd changed considerably in the almost two years since she'd seen him. He'd lost his boyish look quickly, and was now more of a young man. Sam wondered if it had happened the same to Jack. John was taller now, the same height as the General, and his cheekbones had taken on the sharp O'Neill look. His hair was still brown, not the steely silver she was used to, but his eyes were the exact shade of deep chocolate, and his carriage and body language were identical to the man she'd served with for the past 8 years. He was clearly Jack O'Neill. Loki had done a good job in the cloning process, even if Thor had to fix the deteriorating DNA. Reaching out, Sam took the beer bottle from his hand. "You're far to young for that." She put the bottle to her lips and took a deep swallow.

John rolled his eyes. "Come on, Carter, it's just a beer, for crying out loud." She smiled at his phrasing, and handed back the bottle. "Fine, as long as you don't drive."

John took the bottle back. "Not to worry, Carter. It's one beer. I think I'll be fine. Besides, I took a cab. See how responsible I am?"

She reached around him to grab a beer of her own and awkwardly asked, "So, what brings you here? Besides a plane or a car, or whatever smart ass comment you were about to make."

John shrugged and followed her to the sofa. He sat down, uncomfortable and unsure. It was a feeling he wasn't all that familiar with and didn't care for. He looked at her blond hair and wanted nothing more than to run his fingers through it. He shrugged again. "I just…wanted to see someone who understood. I mean, I have this whole life in my memories, but it's not mine anymore. It's weird, ya know? I thought of everyone, you would understand this."

In a way, she did. She still occasionally had flashes of Jolinar's memories and it was definitely disconcerting. It was easier now than it has been back in the beginning, and at least she could separate those memories from her own. John's memories really were his, but he could no longer lead the life they went to. It had to be hard to make his own way knowing that that life, his life belonged to someone else. "I see. I'm so sorry. How are you handling it?"

Sitting back, John put his feet on the coffee table. "You know me, Carter. Sunshine and lollipops."

"Well, I know him, but your life is different now." She said carefully, not wanting to upset him further than he already seemed to be.

John nodded slowly. "True, but deep down, I'm still him, ya know?" His dark eyes found hers and she felt a weird shiver run down her spine. "I miss his life. I miss my friends. I miss traveling through the gate. I miss the cabin, silly as that may sound. I have great memories of being there, but now I can never go back. Whenever I-he-whatever, was upset, going to the cabin helped sort things out and gain some perspective. It's hard. There are days when I wake up and forget that that's not my life anymore. I have tried my best to be different from him, but it's harder than I thought it would be. He has almost everything I want."

Sam thought that might be longer than anything she'd every heard Jack say outside of work. Proof that this was truly not the real Jack O'Neill. "I'm sorry. I guess it would be hard to get used to."

"Ah, there's nothing you can say, Carter. It's just nice to be able to talk to someone about it. I can't really talk it up to a random stranger in a coffee shop. How would that go? 'Guess what? I'm a clone, made by a little gray alien. Tell me about yourself.'" He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "I know I've never been a big talker, but having to give up my life has made me realize a few things. Realize that I do need people." He turned to her and eyes that met hers were dark, and what she saw there frightened her. He was too close to her Jack.

Dragging her eyes from his with great effort, she decided it was time to change the subject. "So, how's school? You're what? A senior?" John smiled at her tactic, but decided to play along.

"Junior, to be honest."

Sam's eyes widened. "Wait, what? They held you back? Why? That's not right. I'm going to call…"

John held up a hand to halt her tirade. It was just like Carter to stand up to defend him. It almost felt like old times. "Relax, Carter. I'm a junior in college."

"College? How is that? You were 16 a year or so ago. How are you in your third year of college?"

"Well," he drew out, looking very smug, then took a sip of his beer before explaining. He knew the not knowing was eating her up, and took a few moments to enjoy it. "It seems having done high school once before, not to mention holding a degree or two, spending years in the military, oh, and listening to hours of techno babble from a certain someone have their advantages. I graduated early and went straight to college."

Sam grinned at him. "That's fantastic. When did you graduate? You should have called; we would have come to the ceremony. Well, Daniel and I would have for sure and Teal'c, if he was on Earth."

He noticed she didn't mention Jack. "I didn't walk."

"Why not?"

John tilted his head and looked out the window. "Why would I? I've done it before, and it's not like I have family to watch, so, you know. Besides, it's not like I'm into pomp and all that."

Sam heard a note of sadness in his voice. She realized all the family he knew were gone, or had no idea he even existed. She recognized how incredibly lonely he must be. "Still, we would have come. We're you're family."

"No. No, you're not, Carter." John shook his head when she started to protest. "You may have been my family at one time, in my memories at least, but you're not my family, you're Jack's family. I understand now how good it is for him to have you all in his life." He paused for a second then gave her a smile that she knew wasn't quite real. "Anyway, after high school, I cajoled some yahoos in the department that keeps tabs on me to fabricate some transcripts, so I could skip all the lower level courses and now I'm a college man. Oh and I had my date of birth fudged, it's not like I have a real one anyway, so you're looking at a legal drinker. I'm 21 now. Legal." He held up his bottle in salute and took a long draw from it.

Sam shook her head. "I don't understand. You told Jack you were going to…embrace high school."

"Yeah, well, seems I'm still not the high school type. It was boring. The," he paused, "people were boring." The girls were boring, was what he almost said. They only talked about dances and celebrities and when he'd gone out on dates and kissed one or two, he felt like a dirty old man. There were no big blue eyes that could wipe away the memories of the ones staring at him right now; no shade of blond was exactly right.

Sam looked over at him, and wondered what it would be like to have to start over on her own without her friends and family. She couldn't imagine how hard it must be, no matter how tough he seemed on the outside. "Where are you going to school? What are you studying?" She was suddenly very interested in where this version of Jack O'Neill would go.

"U of Colorado, Boulder, and aeronautical engineering, if you can believe that."

She laughed. "Seriously?"

John threw his hands wide. "What? After all these years, I do have an idea of what it's all about, you know. If I can't fly jets of course, but I can at least help design them."

"Good for you. I'm glad you can do something you love."

He waggled his eyebrows. "I even own a few small planes. Built one of them from the ground up. Sure, they're nothing to the thrill of flying jets or death gliders and shooting down Goa'uld, but they're mine, and at least I can still fly."

Sam smiled. She was sad for him in a way. "I hope it makes you happy." John knew only one thing would make him happy, but once again, it was something he couldn't have. He sighed. "For the most part it does. I was accepted to the Air Force Academy, but decided not to go, even though it would likely have put me back in jets. The Air Force is his life, not mine anymore. Speaking of him, how is he? Still the same old grumpy Colonel?"

"Actually, he's now a grumpy General," Sam told him. "He runs the SGC and doesn't go off world much anymore."

John snorted. "Well, I'll be damned. General. I don't know who made that call, but they must have been desperate. I'm surprised I-he took it to be honest."

"Yeah, well, it was a difficult decision for him. As he said, he went from fighting the man, to being the man. I'm not sure he likes it."

"He doesn't," John assured her, going to grab another beer. He flipped the cap across the counter then sat back next to her.

Sam gave him a skeptical look. "How do you know?"

He gave her a look. "Come on, Carter, give me some credit. Trust me, he hates it. Where's the fun? Where's the excitement? Riding a desk? No, that's Jack O'Neill's own personal version of hell."

She knew he was right. If there was one thing General O'Neill hated, it was being sedentary. He liked to be in the thick of things. "I know. I'm not sure why he took the job, but he did."

"Do you miss him?" At her startled look, he smiled to himself. He was fishing and it seemed he'd just gotten a nibble. "In the field, I mean. Do you miss having him on the team?"

"Yes," she said quietly. "Yes, I miss him. We all do. It's just not the same." Sam looked down at her hand and knew things would never be the same. Not for any of them.

John followed her gaze and noticed the sparkling diamond on her left hand. He reached out without thinking and grabbed it, bringing it closer so he could get a better look. "What's this?"

Pulling her hand back guiltily, Sam answered avoiding his gaze. "An engagement ring. Surely you're familiar with the idea. A guy wants to marry a girl, he proposes, she wears a ring."

"Who?" He could barely form the word. Jack was still her commander, making it impossible for it to be him. She was going to marry another man. He felt sick at the thought.

"His name is Pete, Pete Shanahan. He's a cop. We dated for a while and he proposed." Sam felt strange having this conversation with him.

"I see," John responded slowly. "And how does Jack feel about this?"

"It's not really his business. It was my choice," she told him defensively.

John scooted closer to her and placed his beer on the table. "Carter," he said softly. Sam's eyes were still down, so he placed a finger under her chin, pulling her face toward him. "Look at me." When she raised her eyes, he saw a million emotions pass through them. "You can't do this. There's no way you love this, this Pete guy. Not the way you could love m-him. Not the way you could love Jack."

Sam tried to look away, but she was caught in the liquid brown of his eyes. "Jack doesn't love me. Not like that. I thought maybe, once, a long time ago, but he didn't say anything when I told him Pete asked me to marry him. He didn't tell me not to. He even started dating someone. Whatever he may have felt is long gone." She felt tears welling in her eyes, and couldn't blink them away.

"Ah, Carter." He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him. He wanted to find Jack O'Neill and thrash the hell out of him for hurting this beautiful woman. Jack was one tough son of a bitch, but John had two good knees and 30 years on him, so he was fairly certain he could do it. He quelled his anger as he saw a tear drop onto his shirt. "Listen, Carter-Sam. He won't tell you this, but he loves you more than you can ever guess. I don't care if he's dating someone, she can never replace you. You're-you're the only one for him."

Sam hiccupped. She wanted to believe him. "Then why? Why after all these years did he just let me go?" The tears were falling freely. She was finally hearing all the things she'd wanted to hear for so long, but they weren't from the man she hoped would one day say them.

Stroking her hair he inhaled the pure scent of Carter. "He's scared," he finally said.

"Scared? What the hell is he scared of?" She looked up at him. Her eyes were still damp.

"You," he whispered, his mouth descending on hers. He wanted nothing more than to feel her lips under his, and he relished when she responded. Dear god, this was right. This, this woman was what was missing from his life. She was the other part of him.

Sam moaned against him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His mouth was hot and hungry. His tongue slid between her parted lips and began exploring. She heard him sigh against her mouth and took pleasure in it. She'd wanted this for so long. Wanted this man, Jack, since the day she met him. Jack. Jack. Jack. Her eyes suddenly flew open and she pulled back. He tried to follow her and pull her back, but she put her hands on his chest and pushed slightly. "Stop," she gasped. Her mind was spinning. This wasn't Jack. Not her Jack.

John looked at her in confusion. "Carter. Sam, what's wrong?"

"I can't," she said. "It's not right."

"What do you mean it's not right? Sam, listen, I-I love you. I'm fairly certain you have pretty strong feelings for me too, so how can it not be right?" John's eyes were pleading with her. They were Jack's eyes, and it made it difficult for Sam to think.

"You're practically a kid, John, and I'm on the wrong side of 35." She said, grasping for anything that made sense. She was so confused.

"No," he said, moving so that he was close to her again. "It's not wrong. On the outside I may look young, but on the inside, I'm a fully-grown man with years of life and experiences behind me. Besides, what does it matter what I look like? Marry me. Don't marry me. I don't care. I just want to be with you. We can run away together. We can go anywhere on Earth. Hell, we can go anywhere in the galaxy. Just the two of us. We can be happy. How can that not be right?" He watched her closely. Watched the countless expressions that played across her face and suddenly realized why it wasn't right. He wasn't right. He scooted away, before saying in a flat voice, "It's because I'm not him isn't it? Not the real him."

Sam let out a choked sob, and reached to touch his arm, but pulled back as if deciding it wasn't a good idea. "John, I'm sorry. You're just-" She didn't know what to say. He was right, but she couldn't say that.

"I know," he said sadly, standing, turning his back to her. "I just miss you so much. You're all I think about. You're all I want. I hoped maybe I could convince you to want that too."

"Please, don't-" Sam started, but was cut off when he turned back to her.

Anger crossed his face, then vanished almost instantly. "I shouldn't have come here. I don't know what I was thinking." He walked towards the door, but Sam ran to stand in front of him, blocking his path.

"John, listen, I don't know what to say." She sighed heavily. "There's nothing I can say, I guess, but please, don't leave here feeling rejected. It's not that I'm not attracted to you, it's clear from," she waved a hand vaguely toward the sofa, embarrassed, "what just happened that I am, but it just wouldn't work. The age thing isn't really the problem, to be honest, but there are too many other problems that we can't overcome."

He smiled and touched her cheek gently. "I know, Sam. The biggest problem being that I'm the wrong Jack O'Neill. For the record, he thinks you're too good for him. He's scared he'll lose you, and that's why he's hesitated all these years. Of course he knows the regs, but if he really thought you'd have him, he tell the president himself to kiss his ass. I thought maybe that since I don't have regs to worry about, you might take me as sloppy seconds, but that was just wishful thinking on my part."

Sam realized she was crying again. "God, I'm so sorry."

"Stop apologizing, Carter," he told her as he used his thumb to brush away a tear. "Don't make me make that an order. You have nothing to apologize for, yet you've done it over and over. I'm the one who should apologize for putting you in such a position. It was selfish of me, and I really am sorry." He pressed a kiss to her forehead before stepping around her toward the door.

"John," she said quietly, making him pause. "Will you be okay? I mean you won't do anything-?" She hesitated, unsure how to say what she meant.

He laughed ruefully. "Don't worry, Carter, I'm not going to run off and do something stupid. I thought about it once, a long time ago, but realized that was the coward's way out. I'll figure this out, I promise." John opened the door then turned back to look at her. "Sam, I don't know what's going to happen between you and him, but marrying this other guy isn't going to make you happy. It will only make you miserable, and you'll end up hating each other. If you don't take anything else away from this, take that. And Sam," he hesitated briefly, "I love you."

Sam stood staring at the door long after it closed. Her heart was heavy with sadness and anger. She could have finally gotten what she'd wanted for so long if only she'd been able to make that leap, but in the back of her mind she knew she would always have missed her Jack. She wanted to scream and throw things and rail at the universe at the unfairness of it all. She hated Pete in that moment, and hated Jack more than anything. How could he do this to her? To them? If what John had told her was true, and she had no reason to doubt him, then why was Jack just letting her go so easily? She picked up a beer bottle and threw it into the cold fireplace. The shattering sound made her feel moderately better, so she threw another one. The third and last empty bottle followed quickly, and her temper cooled. This wasn't about her, and it wasn't about Jack, it was about John. John, the man who had no say in his creation, and had no family to support him. Something had to be done.

She made herself take several deep breaths and calm down completely before she picked up the phone. She punched the buttons a bit harder than she needed to, but figured it was a last release of anger.

The line rang twice before a familiar voice answered. "Carter? Is that you?"

Sam felt a small spark of anger flare, but tamped it down. "Yes, Sir. Sorry to bother you at home, but I just had a visitor, and we need to talk."

"What do you mean a visitor?" His voice went from friendly to serious. "Carter, what's going on?"

"Not on the phone, Sir." She thought she might sound a little angry and made an effort to keep her voice calm. "Can you meet me in my lab in 30 minutes or so? I know it's late, but this is important."

His response was quick. "I can be there in 20 if you need me."

She tried not to choke on his words. If she needed him? Of course she needed him. She always needed him. A sudden thought rushed through her head. What if he wasn't alone and she'd interrupted something? Oh, god. "I'm sorry, Sir, it's late. I'm sure you're busy doing…other things. It's important, but it can wait until morning."

"Hey, hey, not a problem. It's just me, a cold pizza and a hockey game. I can really tear myself away. I'll see you soon."

Sam felt a surge of joy knowing he wasn't with Kerry, but then swallowed it away. She was engaged and had no right to feel one way or the other in regards to the general's love life. "Thank you, Sir. I appreciate it."

"Anything for you, Carter," she heard him say as he hung up. If only that were true, she thought, grabbing her keys and heading back to the mountain.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Not my characters. :(**

**Thanks for all who have left reviews. I appreciate each and every one. I try to respond, but if I skipped you, know that it's simply an over sight on my part. For all the "guest" who have left reviews, I wish I could respond to you. One guest wanted to know why Sam wanted to meet Jack in the lab, so I tossed in an explanation just for you. ;)**

**This has not been beta'd, so all mistakes are mine and mine alone.**

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Sam's Lab-SGC

Jack was already waiting for her when she got to the lab. She could hear the machine she'd rigged to mess with the security cameras running. He must have turned it on when he got there. She looked at the machine to avoid looking in his eyes. Guilt washed over her, though she had nothing to feel guilty for as far as he was concerned. She should feel guilty for Pete, but oddly, she didn't"How'd you get in here, Sir?" She asked tossing her bag on the table.

"I have the key." Jack pointed to his collar, where his star would be on his uniform. It was less successful with a plaid shirt and she struggled not to laugh. "General," he said. "Comes with perks. Like being able to get into every room on base. There is one closet though that I can't seem to get a key. I think Syler and Walter have some sort of man cave in there."

Sam knew he was waiting for some sort of laugh or comment, but she didn't say anything. He was probably right though. She's secretly thought the SGC would fall apart if it weren't for Syler and Walter.

"So," he drawled out, noticing her stillness. "I'm assuming you have a good reason for dragging me to the SCG at midnight, other than to look at my pretty face. Wanna tell me?"

She'd picked the lab, because it was neutral territory, and would hopefully keep her from getting too emotional. She also knew that her lab was entirely secure, given the gadget she had rigged to scramble the security cameras as well as any listening devices that might have been placed by anyone wanting to find out what was going on at the SGC. She had the room swept on a weekly basis, and had not found any since their last big run in with the NID, but she decided she could never be too careful. She'd figured out the where and the security, but how to start this conversation was something she's tried to figure out the entire ride over here, and had come up with nothing.

When the silence continued, he tapped his watch. "Tic-tock, Carter. Not getting any younger over here."

She nodded. "I-uh-see-the," she stumbled over her worlds.

Jack walked toward her slowly, stopping when he was only a foot or so away. He was too close for her comfort, but Sam couldn't make herself move away. The smell of him made her sway slightly, but she caught herself, and hoped he hadn't noticed.

Jack saw her sway and grinned ever so slightly. Part of him wished she'd swayed enough that he could wrap his arms around her to keep her steady. Another part of him was glad she hadn't, because he wasn't sure he would be able to let her go. He struggled every day, and had almost convinced himself he couldn't really feel anything anymore. He'd done it after Charlie had died, and thought he could do it again, but seeing her almost daily made it harder than he'd thought. He'd started dating Kerry as a way to forget Carter, but even when he was with Kerry, he was thinking of Sam. He knew it wasn't fair to Kerry, but couldn't stop himself. Abruptly cutting off that train of thought, he tucked a finger under her chin and pulled her face up to look at him. "Well?"

Sam blushed, remembering an hour or so earlier when John had done this exact same thing, shortly before he kissed her. _And you kissed him back_, she reminded herself. Deep down, she hoped Jack would kiss her too, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. He was with Kerry and she was with Pete. They'd move on with their lives and the years they'd spent dancing around each other would eventually fade into the past. She felt her eyes start to tear up again, but blinked them away. "I had a visitor tonight."

When she took a step back, Jack moved with her, keeping close to her. He knew he shouldn't, but it was almost involuntary. His body simply responded to her every movement. "You said. You gonna give me a name?"

She looked down, guilt flushing her cheeks. "John. John O'Neill," she said. "Your clone."

Jack blew out a harsh breath and turned away from her. He scrubbed a hand through his short spikey hair as he paced a few steps. "I didn't know you two were in touch." His voice was tinged with anger, but Sam wasn't sure why.

"We're not," she rushed to explain. At his head tilt, she clarified. "That is, we weren't. Not until tonight. I haven't seen him since, well, the last time he was here."

He turned back to face her, but didn't move any closer. "What did he want?"

Sam gave him a very brief overview, leaving out the kissing and finished with, "He's lonely, Sir."

Jack snorted. "So, let him go out and make some friends. He's young, he's got plenty of time, why is he bugging mine?"

"Sir," Sam said calmly, "to him, we were _his_ friends too. At one time he thought he was you. He is you, in a way. Your memories are his. He told me he's tried, but I can understand why it would be difficult. Imagine if you woke up tomorrow and had to give up everything you knew and everyone you cared about, not because you wanted to, but because you had to, because it wasn't really your life."

Staring at her, Jack suddenly realized that's exactly what he was being forced to do with her. He was giving her up, and it ate at him every day. He felt an unexpected touch of sympathy for his young clone. "Seems I've become quite chatty in my youth," he said sarcastically. Her eye roll irritated him. "What do you want me to do about it, Carter? I can't exactly welcome him here with open arms can I?"

"Sir, why do you have such anger against John?" Sam knew Jack was uncomfortable about having a younger version of him running around, but she didn't understand why he was so angry about it. It wasn't exactly John's choice. "What has he done to you?"

Jack didn't want to answer. She was right, John hadn't done anything, other than be born, or created, or however the hell it was he came into being, but Jack couldn't help but be angry at the younger man who could do his whole life over. He could have the things Jack couldn't, and that made him angry. He batted her question away with a wave of his hand. "You haven't answered my questions. 'He's lonely' doesn't tell me what he wants, and I still don't know what you expect me to do about it. Let's start over shall we? Use simple terms. It's late and I'm a bit slow on the uptake on a good day. What does he want?"

Swallowing, Sam forced herself to look him in the eyes. "Me, Sir. He said he wants me."

Jack's heart pounded loudly in his hears. He thought it might even have skipped a few beats. "You?" He repeated, practically choking.

"Well, yeah. Like I said, he's lonely. He needs someone who knows him. He, um, he wanted me to go away with him." She couldn't look at his eyes any longer, and dropped them to the table, taking in the random detritus scattered around.

Jack wanted to throttle the little bastard. How dare that punk try to take Carter away? She was his. No he corrected himself she wasn't his. It was bad enough he had lost her to that Shanahan character, but he'd be damned if he let some younger version of himself have her. "Lonely, huh? So, why you? Why didn't he go buddy up to Daniel? Why didn't he try to chum up with Teal'c?" He stepped closer and she could feel the annoyance radiating from him. "What did you say, Carter? You going to run off and be his best friend, now?"

Sam was starting to feel her own anger rise. "And if I did?"

"You're not seriously considering this, are you?" Jack's voice was incredulous. If she'd had Teal'c punch him in the gut, it would have hurt less.

She exhaled sharply. "One of you is more than enough for me to deal with."

Jack deflated. "Touché, Colonel."

They stared at each other in tense silence. Jack wondered if Sam had been tempted even for a moment by his younger self. Tempted to be more than friends. "Okay, so, what are your plans? Don't tell me you don't have one, because if you didn't you wouldn't have called me."

Sam looked up at him. He was so handsome it made her ache. "You're not going to like it."

"I'm sure I'm not."

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**TBC**

**Reviews appreciated**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Not my characters**

**Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it so much. There's one more chapter after this one.**

**This has not been beta'd, so all mistakes are mine and mine alone.**

* * *

Two months later set during Threads, after Jacob dies, but before cabin trip

Jack knocked on the apartment door and waited. This was not a good idea, but Carter had asked, and so of course he'd agreed. When the door opened he stared straight at himself, considerably younger. "John," he said.

John blinked a few times. Jack O'Neill The Original, stood before him. "Jack," he returned.

They simply stared at each other, neither wanting to speak. Jack rolled his eyes. "So, you gonna invite me in or what?"

Stepping back from the door, John put out his arm, but said nothing as Jack walked in. He shut the door firmly and watched the older man warily. "How did you find me?"

"Excellent question. Oddly it only took one phone call. I have a bit of pull now." Jack looked around the small apartment. There were empty beer bottles, pizza boxes and Chinese food cartons on the coffee table. Old habits, he supposed. A photo of John in front of a small plane caught his eye. "Yours?" he asked. When John nodded, Jack continued his perusal of the room. He came to a halt when he saw a small photo of Charlie on a shelf. He picked it up and looked back at John.

"He was my son, too," John said, daring Jack to say anything.

Somberly, Jack placed the photo back, and noticed there were also a few photos of SG-1, minus himself, and several of just Carter. He raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything.

"So," John said finally, "you gonna tell me why you're here or what? I'm certain you didn't just come to look at my photos, and as you can see," he motioned toward the pizza that looked fresh, and the hockey game on TV, "I have a busy day ahead of me."

Jack turned back to him. "Yes, it looks like it. Got a beer?"

Shaking his head, John crossed into the kitchen, grabbed two bottles from the refrigerator, and flipped the caps onto the counter before walking back to the living room.

Watching him, Jack wondered if he'd ever really been that young. If he'd ever really moved so easily. Taking the beer, he nodded his thanks and took a deep swallow before talking. "Carter told me you'd paid her a little visit."

John shrugged. _ Carter_. Her rejection still stung. He knew Jack was fishing for something, but refused to bite. "Yeah, a while back. What of it?"

Seeing he wasn't going to give anything away, Jack said bluntly, "She told me you were lonely."

John gave a short bark of a laugh. "Hard to imagine for you, I suppose."

"Not so much," Jack replied. He'd felt lonelier this past year than he had in a long time.

John was surprised by Jack's answer, but didn't know how to respond. "I suppose I shouldn't make you stand, what with your knees and all. Sit." John smirked at him.

Jack plopped down on the sofa, used his foot to move some of the empty cartons to make room and placed his feet in the open space. "There's no need to be a smart ass about it."

"Why not?" John asked. "You would."

Nodding his head to acknowledge the comment that was the truth, Jack took another look at the photos placed around the room. He realized there weren't any of anyone other than those of Jack's friends and family. "Listen," Jack said earnestly, "I hadn't realized what kind of position you'd be in. I can't imagine what it would be like to not be able to lead my own life. Must be hard."

"You really have no idea."

Jack shifted uncomfortably. "No, I don't, but I'm here to make you an offer that just might help."

"Yeah? You gonna let me have your job? General! Ha! I'd never have guessed." John snorted. "Scraped the barrel there, didn't they."

"Something like that," Jack agreed. He looked over at the young man. When he was really that age, he didn't think his eyes looked so old. At least he hoped they didn't. "Anyway, the cabin. I'd like to offer you some time at the cabin if you'd like it."

John sat up straight. "Really? You'd do that?"

"Sure. It's not like I'm up there all the time, not much at all lately, and I know what it means to me-you-us. Might help you," Jack waved his hand around, "figure stuff out."

"Huh, that was unexpected. That's, well, that's really nice of you. I don't know what to say."

Leaning forward, Jack looked the younger man in the eyes. "You can start by saying 'thank you.' You can end by leaving Carter alone."

"How is she?" John wanted to know desperately, but tried not to show it. He'd had to stop himself at least once a week from going to see her again.

"It's been a rough couple of months for her. Her dad died."

John looked shocked. "Jacob?" It was hard for Jack to remember that John knew Jacob as well. "The snake couldn't fix him?"

Jack shook his head. "No, the snake, well, to be honest, I don't understand what happened, but they both died. It hit Carter very hard. She broke up with that potato farmer a few days later, and I think that would have made Jacob proud."

John sat quietly, then lifted his beer in salute. "To Jacob."

"To Jacob," Jack repeated and they drank to the memory of the general.

"She's not going to get married, huh?" John asked cutting Jack a look from the side of his eyes.

"Apparently not."

"Huh." John said absently.

Jack felt his anger rising. "She said you wanted her to go away with you."

"Like you don't?" John shot back.

Jack stood quickly, pointing a finger at John. "Listen, what happens or doesn't happen between me and Carter isn't your business."

"The hell it isn't!" John was on his feet too. He was tired of feeling like a child. "I love her. Hell, you _know_ that. You love her, but you're not willing to do anything about it. She knows you love her. How do you think it makes her feel to know you won't acknowledge your feelings for her?"

Before he could form a coherent thought, Jack reached out and grabbed John by the collar. "What do you mean she knows? What did you tell her?"

"You don't know?" John laughed. It was just like Carter not to say anything. "Everything. I told her everything. Everything you've ever wanted to say but didn't. She's known since she last saw me. We even kissed. It was even better than that time loop kiss, because this time she remembers it. She remembers. She knows what it feels like to kiss me. Me, not you. What do you think about that?"

Jack pushed him against the wall. "You son of a bitch. You had no right! No right to tell her anything, and certainly no right to kiss her."

He knew he could fight back, but John chose not to. He was rather enjoying watching Jack get mad. "Why not? It's not like you're planning on making a grand gesture is it, General?" He paused when Jack flinched. "Maybe she'll have me now that she knows you're never going to do anything."

John didn't see the fist until it was too late. The blow landed squarely on his jaw, and the force of it shocked him. He tried to hit back, but Jack was stronger than John thought. He realized while Jack had still been working out at the gym on base, he'd been merely jogging and counting on his high metabolism to keep him slim, giving the older man an advantage.

A knock at the door brought them up short. Jack cursed under his breath and released John. He had to admit that it felt good to hit the younger man, but he knew there would be hell to pay later from Carter.

John straightened his clothes as he crossed the room jaw throbbing. He knew he'd probably have one hell of a bruise. He opened the door. "Sam," he breathed. Seeing her made him forget all about the ache in his jaw. She was wearing jeans, a light blue t-shirt that almost matched her eyes, and a floral scarf wrapped around her neck. She looked gorgeous. He had to remind himself to breathe. He'd thought of their kiss every day since he'd last seen her and wondered what he could do to convince her that he could be the man she loved.

"John," she smiled in greeting and then looked behind him to where Jack stood looking like he was about to zat someone. "You two having some sort of a party in here? It seemed rather loud in the hall."

John looked back at Jack. "Did you know she was coming?" Jack nodded. "And you didn't think to tell me?"

"Didn't get a chance. Surprise. Carter, get in here."

Sam scooted past John. The tension in the room was palpable. "What's going on?"

The both said "Nothing," at the same moment in the same tone. Sam gave them both a skeptical look. "Uh-huh." She sat and waited for them to do the same. John sat in the recliner near her while Jack perched on the arm of the sofa as far away from her as possible. Sam found this odd. They'd grown closer since her dad died, and she hoped things would progress, but other than a few hugs, touches and meaningful glances, nothing had really happened. "So," she addressed Jack first. "Did you tell him?"

John responded before Jack could. "About the cabin? Yeah. I appreciate it. Thanks, Sam."

"What are you thanking her for?" Jack wanted to know. "It's my cabin, for crying out loud."

John shot him a heated look. "Like you would ever have thought of it if she hadn't asked."

Sam put her hands out. "Good grief. Knock it off. Both of you."

"Sorry," John said quietly. Jack remained stubbornly silent.

She looked at Jack briefly. "So, you haven't told him the rest?"

Looking between the two, John became suspicious. He also noticed that Jack wouldn't hold eye contact with Sam. He grinned. Perhaps he still had a chance. "The rest of what?"

Jack looked Sam solidly in the eyes for the first time and John saw an entire conversation pass between them in an instant. He used to have those conversations with Carter. They knew each other's minds. Or at least they used to. Even though Jack was too much of a dumb ass to say anything, his eyes told John everything he needed to know. Sam's eyes positively glowed, and not in a freaky Goa'uldish way, as she looked into Jack's. It was simple. Sam loved Jack. The real Jack, not the knock off version. Jack nodded to Sam, apparently letting her know that she should tell John whatever it was. When she turned to face him, her eyes, while still gorgeous, had lost the glow.

Sam took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I've been thinking very hard since the night we, um, talked."

John noticed that Jack shifted uneasily, and took a small amount of satisfaction in it. Jack was thinking about John kissing her. "And?" he prompted.

Sam cleared her throat. "Um, yeah. I, well, I made a decision. I don't want you to be alone."

He glanced between Sam and Jack. Neither was looking at each other. He was confused. The looks they had just given each other and the fact that Jack had clocked him for kissing her, didn't make sense given what she had just said. Had be been wrong about them? Was Jack still that stupid? "Does this mean you…want to be with me?" he asked hopefully.

Jack stood up. "I told you about this. Carter isn't yours!"

John stood as well. He wasn't going to let Jack get the better of him this time, especially not with Sam in the room. "It's not like she's yours either, is it? It doesn't look like you've asked her to run away with you." John looked back at Sam. "Has he even asked you to the cabin again? You know he quit asking because he could only handle your rejection so many times."

Jack started toward him. "Okay, I've had enough! You leave Carter-"

Sam jumped between the two of them. "NO!" She shouted. "_I've_ had enough. This isn't some contest, and I'm not a prize to be fought over. What the hell is wrong with you two?" Sam didn't want to admit it, but John's taunt to Jack had hit her hard. Jack had stopped asking her to go to the cabin long before she met Pete, and he hadn't asked again even after she called off the wedding, until they'd decided to have a team week there. They wouldn't be alone though. He'd stopped asking her to come up by herself. If he had, she probably would have tossed her life and her career behind, just to be with him. "You," she pointed a finger at Jack, "sit down. And you," she turned to John, "stop being such an ass."

When both men had sat with identical scowls on their faces, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed it. When the other line was picked up, she said, "I think you should go ahead and come up." She clicked the phone shut and stared between the two of them.

Jack spoke first. His voice was calm and softer, his eyes concerned. "Are you sure about this?"

She turned to him, still clearly irritated. "It's a little late for that now, don't you think?"

Shrugging, he shifted his eyes to John. "I want you to know that I was against this, but Carter somehow convinced me it was a good idea. If you do anything to make me regret this, I will personally kill you."

John was confused. "Against what?" Another knock at the door caught his attention. "Who the hell is it now? You bring Teal'c and Daniel along too? Perhaps a few back up singers? I think I've had my fill of visitors for the day."

"Just answer the damn door," Jack said. While John crossed the room, Jack looked over at Sam. He was worried. He wanted her to assure him again that this was the right thing to do. A small nod of her head told him it was.

John pulled the door open, and for the third time that day, was completely shocked. In front of him stood a slightly younger Samantha Carter. He looked at her, then back at the Sam standing in his living room. "Wh-wh-what the hell is going on? Have I finally lost my mind?" He turned confused eyes to Jack. "You'd tell me if I had, wouldn't you?"

"Let the lady in," Jack said in a gentler voice than Sam had heard him use since she'd been there.

John moved back and watched Samantha enter. He was still certain someone was playing a trick on him. "Can someone please explain to me what's happening? In small words."

Samantha, the younger version, smiled at him. "Isn't it obvious?"

John shook his head. "Um, no, I'm afraid not."

"Is there someplace we can go and talk for a few minutes?" Samantha waved her hands around to indicate that someone might be listening in. John looked back over at Sam and Jack. He was still dumbfounded. "I don't know," he said slowly.

"I had the place swept yesterday, it's safe," Jack said. When John looked startled, Jack just shrugged.

Sam touched Jack on the arm. "Why don't you and I go sit on the balcony for a few minutes and let them talk." He didn't say anything, but followed her out the door and closed it behind them.

John was still staring at her. "It's okay," Samantha assured him. I'm real. Well, as real as you are."

He shook his head, as if trying to clear it. "You're a…"

"Clone," she finished for him. "We, that is, Sam decided this was the only way we could be together, so she convinced, cajoled really, the general to get in touch with Thor. After a bit of haggling and explaining, Thor agreed to duplicate me-her, wow, this is confusing. He set the aging process to put me around the same as you." When he continued to stare in silence, Samantha became nervous. "Is-is that okay? I mean, if you don't want me here, I can-" Her words were cut off midstream when he gathered her into his arms and pulled her close. She willingly wrapped her arms around him, feeling complete joy. While the Air Force and a million other things kept Sam and Jack apart, Samantha knew there was nothing standing between her and John.

"Sam," he whispered into her hair. "How could you ever think I don't want you?" Pulling away to look at her, he gave her a typical Jack smile. "You sure you want a grumpy old guy like me?"

She laughed, causing her eyes to crinkle lightly, in a way John adored. "I hate to break it to you, but you're not exactly old. To me though, you were never old, but you're certainly not now." She gave him an appraising look and lifted her eyebrows suggestively. John O'Neill was incredibly handsome, and she couldn't wait to see more of him.

"Ah, Sam, you have no idea how much I love you." He leaned down and kissed her gently. "I'm hoping you'll let me try to show you every day though."

"Every day? I like the sound of that." She tilted her head up as he kissed her again, this time with all the passion that had been stored up almost from the day Jack and Sam met.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Still not my characters. **

**Thanks everyone for your reviews. Of course everyone had an idea where the previous chapter was going (it HAD to, right?), so I'm glad you all enjoyed it and didn't feel like it was just a rehash of all the other "clone" stories.**

**This story has not been beta'd, so all mistakes are mine and mine alone. Reviews still appreciated!**

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Jack and Sam sat next to each other on a teak bench on the small balcony, trying not to look back at the younger versions of themselves. Jack finally took a small peek and saw them in an embrace. He quickly turned back around. "I feel like a creepy voyeur."

Sam chuckled. "I told you not to look."

They continued to sit quietly lost in their own thoughts, until Jack asked softly, "Are you sure this is what you wanted?"

"Yes," she said. "He, well, he needs her. He didn't have a choice in being brought into the world like he is, but I did, and this is what I wanted. For him." She knew he understood that she wanted it for herself too. She would take comfort in knowing that in a way, they would be together, even if it broke her heart. She gave him a sad smile.

Jack looked at her intensely. His heart was beating faster than normal. "Do you think I don't need you?"

"I-I don't know. I guess not. You seem to be doing fine, Sir." She looked away before she could disgrace herself again by crying in front of him. She'd cried so many tears over the last few weeks, she wondered how she had any left. It seemed she always had more tears to shed over him, though. Sam was startled when Jack's hand reached out to cover hers. She looked over at his long, slim fingers. Fingers that had wrapped around her own while she stood at her father's grave side, and fingers that had stroked her hair and wiped away her tears of grief. She tightened her own fingers around his and rested her head on his shoulder. This was a familiar and comfortable act to both of them. She couldn't count all the times they'd sat like that, as though is were the most natural thing in the world, any world.

"Carter, I'm never fine without you," he admitted. When she didn't say anything, he glanced down and the blond head on his shoulder, and screwed up his courage. Jack O'Neill had faced down system lords, Jaffa and Iraqi torturers; surely he could talk to one woman. "Do you think you could ever love me?"

Sam's bolted upright and turned to face him full on. Had he really just asked her that? After all this time? "_Could_ love you? _Could_ love you?" She let out a laugh that bordered on hysteria. "I've been in love with you for years." Her voice broke, causing her to swallow deeply before she continued. "Why do you think I did this? I wanted part of us to be together. Even after all this time, you don't know how I feel? " A tear slid down her cheek. It seemed she had plenty left after all.

Reaching out, he cupped her face and wiped it away. "You wanted to leave it in the room, remember? You almost married another man." Jack shrugged. "I dunno, I thought maybe it was all in my head."

"You are frequently even dumber than you want people to think you are, do you know that?" Sam turned into his hand and kissed the palm. "I never wanted to leave it in the room, but there was so much that needed to be done that I thought it might be best, so we could stay on the same team. I never imagined it would have to stay locked away for so long. I-I thought we'd be able to go back to it later, but later never came."

Jack blew out a breath. "The kid thinks I've been a fool."

"Well, you're not the only one who's been a fool," she told him honestly. "I'm the one who kept turning down all your invitations to the cabin. Maybe if I'd been brave enough to say yes, things might have been different."

He motioned behind him with his head. "Think they'll do any better?"

Sam turned and saw that their younger selves were now sitting together talking, hands firmly clasped in one another's. "God, I hope so. Things are different for them though."

"They could be different for us too, you know," Jack said, surprising her.

"How so?"

Jack didn't want to tell her the news of his transfer just yet. Not when she'd just given him one of the greatest gifts he'd ever received: a chance at having her. "We can figure it out while we're at the cabin. You are still planning to go with Daniel and Teal'c, aren't you?"

She nodded. "I can't wait." She suddenly wished Teal'c and Daniel suddenly had reasons to cancel. It was a bad thing to think, she knew, but she wanted Jack to herself.

As if reading her thoughts, Jack gave her a lopsided, and very sexy grin. "You know, you and I could go up a day or two early, if you like. You know, to…talk." The glimmer in his eyes left no doubt as to what he meant by talk.

"Talk. Yes, I think I'd enjoy having some time to…talk with you in private." She smiled at the thought of having Jack all to herself. She'd dreamed it a million times, but never really thought it could happen.

"I'll set it up." He leaned toward her and wrapped his arms around her. "We'll figure something out; some way to make this work. We've wasted far too much time. I think we deserve some sort of a break, don't you? In fact, I think we deserve much more than just a break." His mouth met hers in a kiss that said more than any words could.

Sam responded in kind. Her brain was suddenly scrambled by the feel of him against her, but she managed to have a fleeting thought that told her _this_ was right. _He_ was the right Jack.

Several minutes passed without them being aware of the world around them. A cough brought them back to reality. They broke apart and looked up to find a very smug looking John staring at them. "Something you kids want to tell me?"

"No," Jack said sternly. He had been thoroughly enjoying himself and was quite irritated to have been interrupted. And by his own clone. He's thought the boy would have better sense than that. Clearly he was not a perfect copy.

Sam blushed. She looked around him to see Samantha sitting on the sofa. "Everything okay?"

John looked back briefly and smiled warmly. "Peachy. Why don't you two come back in?"

They stood and followed him back into the room. John looked at Sam and she knew she'd done the right thing. "Thank you. So much. You don't know what this means to me." He hugged her hard and let go. "Jack, I get that this has all been a bit much for you, but really, um, thank you."

"Don't get mushy on me," Jack said.

"Never," John said, sounding happier than Jack had heard him before. Of course Jack knew there was a reason for the happiness. He was beginning to feel some himself. "Would it be alright if we used the cabin next week?"

Jack shrugged. "Don't see why not."

Samantha stepped closer and wrapped her arm around John's waist. He put his around her shoulder and kissed her temple. "We think it might be a good place for a honeymoon."

Jack whistled. "Bit fast don't you think?"

Samantha laughed. "I think eight years is long enough."

"When you put it that way," he said.

"And don't worry," John told him. "Sam, this Sam that is, told me you're headed up there with the team at the end of the month, so we'll be gone by then."

Sam looked at them. "Any ideas what you'll do now?"

"Not just yet, but we've got the rest of our lives to figure it out." John told her, while looking at Samantha.

"Forever," Samantha said quietly, looking into John's eyes.

Jack was starting to feel like a voyeur again. "Okay, kids, it's been, well, weird, real weird, but it's time for us to head out. Don't leave the cabin in a mess and, don't do anything I wouldn't do." At the look everyone gave him, he shrugged. "You know what I mean. You ready, Carter?"

Sam gave John one last hug. "Take care of yourself, and be happy."

"Oh, I will," he promised her. "You've managed to give me the only thing I need to be happy. I can never thank you enough."

Samantha walked Sam to the door. "I promise I'll take care of him," she said quietly. "You've given us a chance." She glanced back and John and Jack. "I hope you two get a chance."

Sam smiled. "I think we just might."

John put his hand out and Jack reluctantly shook it. "Jack. Don't waste any more time."

Jack lifted his eyebrows. "Words of wisdom?"

John looked over at Sam and smirked. "From what I saw outside though, it doesn't look like you plan to."

"Yes, well, I don't move quite as quickly as you, but I'm pretty sure I'll figure something out. Take care of her."

"Same to you."

Jack and Sam walked toward the elevator. "You think they'll be okay?" She asked, as they stepped inside.

"Yeah, they're both pretty smart. At least she is."

Sam considered it for a second. "I don't know, they've both been pretty slow for a long time." The doors opened and they stepped out into the tiled lobby.

"Yes, well, let's not hold that against them." He reached over and took her hand, holding all the way to the car, where he kissed her again before opening the door for her. He climbed in the driver's side and felt lighter than he had in years. He knew that the two of them still faced a long road, but he knew for certain that this time they would face it together.

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**Fin**


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